SUPER MEGA-IMPORTANT BLOG (DO NOT SCROLL OVER THIS ONE): Who are the coolest players in the NFL?

There is a huge difference between the coolest players in the NFL and the best; If you’re looking for the list of the best players and what makes them so great on the field X’s & O’s wise, then you came to the wrong place. That list can be found right here: Full NFL Top 100 List. (1) Buuuuuttt before you click on that link, I’d argue that my list of the “coolest” players in the NFL is much, much more important. Here’s why:

1.) I always love seeing the offensive lineman on this list because I almost always have zero clue who they are and can never judge the abilities of an offensive lineman myself. Honestly, have you ever tried to just watch the offensive line during a play? It’s pretty much impossible.

When you look back on your life and you are starting to share all your memories with your grandkids, are you going to regale them with stories of how good Aaron Donald was as a nose guard or Drew Brees’ consistency as a passer? Fuck no! You are going to be telling them of OBJ’s one handed catch or the time you thought Kyler Murray was going to be sacked, but then he made an electrifying escape and scrambled for a touchdown. No, at the end of the day, what matters in football is being entertained and that’s exactly what you remember the most.

I still remember when I went to my first and only NFL game when I was 8 years old (Michael Vick & the Falcons vs. Jon Kitna & the Lions), the coolest moment was watching Dre Bly (2) catch one handed passes in warmups. It was so cool and I thought he was the best defensive back in the league, just because of his warmup routine.

2.) Dre Bly is in discussion for the coolest name in sports history, the only one I can think of that might be close is Quentin Jammer.

So screw that top 100 list, that doesn’t really matter to me, this one is much-much more important:

The Top Ten Coolest Players in the NFL

Honorable Mentions:

  • Stephon Gilmore || Although there is nothing particularly cool about Stephon Gilmore in terms of personality or swag, there’s something to be said about being a lockdown corner… It’s pretty badass and that’s enough to earn an Honorable Mention spot.
  • Tyrann Mathieu|| This guy is an absolute rough rider and the nickname “Honey Badger” is one of the best in the league. He is also a very hard hitter and widely regarded as a pretty big badass, so he is also very close to cracking the Top Ten.
  • Aaron Donald || It’s pretty slick to require a double team on every snap or else you will wreak havoc. The only thing holding Donald back is his number (#99 sucks) and the fact that I don’t think I’ve heard him talk & I know nothing about him.
  • Adam Theilen || Theilen’s visor, sleeve, and glove combo are unmatched in the league. He is also a very good wide receiver which also helps. But most importantly, he is a good white receiver which has something inherently cool about it. Other than that, he is simply a pretty good receiver.

10.) Derrick Henry

Are you kidding me? He’s built like an absolute brick shit house and he checks almost every swag box there is: Dreads? CHECK. Arm sleeve? CHECK. Visor? CHECK. Henry is a bell-cow back that almost singlehandedly took Tennessee to the Super Bowl last year, which immediately bumps up his cool level a few notches. He also is lucky that he is able to rock the light blue Titan uniforms a few times a year as well, those could make Aaron Rodgers look cool. Oh, and did I mention that Henry has some of the best off the field fits as well?

MIAMI, FLORIDA – FEBRUARY 01: Derrick Henry attends the 9th Annual NFL Honors at Adrienne Arsht Center on February 01, 2020 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

This dude epitomizes swag.

9.) DeAndre Hopkins

HOUSTON, TX – NOVEMBER 21: DeAndre Hopkins #10 of the Houston Texans celebrates after catching a pass for a touchdown during the second half of a game against the Indianapolis Colts at NRG Stadium on November 21, 2019 in Houston, Texas. The Texans defeated the Colts 20-17. (Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

DeAndre Hopkins is on this list for few reasons:

  • He’s a stud receiver.
  • He has dreads.
  • This video:

You just have to feel bad for Hall here, he was a great pro his entire career and in one moment, his career was defined by some snot-nosed young receiver. Sad day for Hall, but just a career defining moment for Hopkins. That alone earned him a spot on this list.

8.) Julian Edelman

I know, I know. Julian Edelman isn’t exactly the first guy that comes to your mind when you think “cool”, but think about it for a second: He was a stud college QB, who under Bill/Tom’s teachings became an absolute stud slot receiver, he wears red gloves, he’s just a route running savant, he’s handsome as hell (3), and he returns punts.

3). If you are a guy and you act like if Julian Edelman tried to kiss you, that you wouldn’t eventually give in, you are a liar. Flat out liar.

The white slot receiver is one of the coolest things you can be in sports. Yes, even cooler than a Darren Sproles esque running back. The only thing keeping Jules from being higher up on this list is the steroid suspension, cheating is never cool… kids.

I mean, you’re telling me Edelman saucing this corner in the Super Bowl isn’t cool?

7.) Larry Fitzgerald

This is without a doubt the most controversial pick on my list and I can see why. Larry isn’t your typical idea of “cool”… But in a way, he’s the coolest player in the NFL. Today’s generation is way too focused on players like Cam Newton and OBJ, the one’s who are more swag than substance. That’s the opposite of old Larry Fitz, who is the model of consistency: He never drops passes, he is one hell of a captain, he’s a great blocker, he’s loyal, and he still rocks the old school revolution style helmet.

When you truly think about it, guys like Larry Fitzgerald should lead this list. He’s a blue-collar worker and the NFL needs more guys like him. Just lunch pale guys who do their job and never look for accolades. Honestly, Old Fitzy is about as cool as it gets. (4)

4. I just wish he would wear a visor, that would easily catapult him a few spots on this list.

6.) Alvin Kamara

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – JANUARY 05: Alvin Kamara #41 of the New Orleans Saints warms up during the NFC Wild Card Playoff game against the Minnesota Vikings at Mercedes Benz Superdome on January 05, 2020 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images)

Look at that picture one more time, are you kidding me? The mirrored visor, the chain, the dreads, the facemask, the nose ring (?!)… Just everything about Alvin Kamara is cool. This isn’t a surprise to anyone who watches the Saints play; Kamara is one of the flashiest players in the NFL and his playstyle is simply electric. He’s shifty, fast, and one hell of a pass catcher for Drew Brees.

I mean come on, the guy somehow makes the #41 cool. (5) How is that even possible? Plus, the all white Saints jerseys help too.

5.) What would be the hardest jersey number to make cool as a skill position? And why is it #37? Shaun Alexander was an absolute stud, but still, the number was always his biggest downfall.

Oh and did I forget to mention he has grillz? Are you kidding me? So cool.

5.) Le’Veon Bell

EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY – SEPTEMBER 08: Le’Veon Bell #26 of the New York Jets signals for a first down against the Buffalo Bills during the at MetLife Stadium on September 08, 2019 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The Buffalo Bills defeated the New York Jets 17-16. (Photo by Michael Owens/Getty Images)

More specifically, Le’Veon Bell when he played for the Steelers, but the Jets’ Bell is still pretty damn cool as well. First, let’s just start with his playstyle, which is the coolest of all the running backs in the league: He is the perfect mix of quickness, speed, and power. While also being a great route runner and pass catcher, but his calling card is his patience! We could talk all day about his swag or the fact that he is actually a solid rapper, but when you think about it, if you can be this cool (check video below) under pressure, with guys like Aaron Donald bearing down on you, then who am I to say you aren’t one of the top 5 coolest guys in the league?

4.) Kyler Murray

Give it a couple years and Murray could very well be at the top of this list, but do to the lack of wins in the NFL, it’s hard to put him above anyone else on this list. But in terms of on-the-field-play, I’m not sure if there is a cooler guy in the league: He’s small, he’s lighting quick, he’s got a rocket arm (also a stud baseball player), he’s great at improvising, and he’s got the visor/sleeve/swag to match it all. Murray is the complete total package and he is quickly becoming my favorite player in the entire NFL… It also helps that he turned down the lame sport of baseball to become a QB in the NFL. Absolutely brilliant move in terms of coolness, if he plays baseball, he doesn’t even begin to sniff a “cool” list of any sort.

If he was able to wear this visor in a game, he would already be #1 on this list.

3.) Cam Newton

AUBURN – OCTOBER 16: Quarterback Cam Newton #2 of the Auburn Tigers celebrates during the game against the Arkansas Razorbacks at Jordan-Hare Stadium on October 16, 2010 in Auburn, Alabama. The Tigers beat the Razorbacks 65-43. (Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)

It’s a known fact that the coolest player in history is Cam Newton in a Auburn #2 jersey. He was a stud both on and off the field (cashing paychecks left and right) and he was the greatest college player to ever play the game.

NFL Cam Newton is still damn cool, especially when he’s healthy and rushing for TD’s. The nickname “Superman” is also a huge bonus in terms of coolness, but his biggest assets are his off-the-field fits… Guy has the best style of anyone in the league:

Nov 4, 2018; Charlotte, NC, USA; Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton (1) in the press conference at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – MAY 06: Cam Newton attends The 2019 Met Gala Celebrating Camp: Notes on Fashion at Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 06, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

The funny thing is, if I wore something like that I’d be laughed out of the function… But Cam wears it and it’s the coolest suit ever donned. It’s impressive.

2.) Odell Beckham Jr. (OBJ)

CLEVELAND, OHIO – SEPTEMBER 22: wide receiver Odell Beckham #13 of the Cleveland Browns poses on the field during warm ups before the game against the Los Angeles Rams at FirstEnergy Stadium on September 22, 2019 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Yes, the “shit on the chest” allegations definitely docked him a couple points, but you are lying to yourself if you say OBJ isn’t cool. First, he has the best shoe game in the league:

Secondly, he makes plays like this:

His hair looks like this:

And no, that does not make me…

Need I say more?

1.) Lamar Jackson

There isn’t anything more I can say about this guy that hasn’t been said already, so just enjoy the cool photos and the sick highlights… He is the epitome of cool:

DID I MISS ANYONE? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS:

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