"F*** you Joey Brackets, this is impossible." I mutter under my breath as I crumble up my paper bracket in between my sweaty palms and shoot it toward the circular trash bin in the corner of my room. It clanks off the rim of the trash bin. "That rim isn't even the real size of... Continue Reading →
Would I Be The NBA’s LOGO If I Played In The 1950’s? MY COLUMN:
First and foremost, let me just get ahead of the "haters" here: I am f***ing ATROCIOUS at basketball. I have absolutely zero off-hand skills, I can't shoot whatsoever, I'm 5-6 (5-7 in basketball shoes), I'm slow as s*** for my size, and my entire high school career I rode the pine for a .500 squad.... Continue Reading →
*Pokes Stomach* “Hop on the Scale, Tubby!” The Moment I Realized I was an Obese, Gross, Ugly … … … Fatass.
*Published 1/3/2019*
“OH MY GOD I GOT A CAR! Oh, wait… This is a House Key.” The Cruel, Heartbreaking, and True Story of the Worst Christmas of my Life.
*Published 12/24/2018*
The Drunk Text Cheat Code & Other Gimmicks You Can Try On Girls When You Have Absolutely No Game… Like None Whatsoever.
*Published 12/20/2018*
Michigan Finishes National Signing Day with the 4th Best Recruiting Class in the Country & the Best in the Big Ten. My Grade: F!!!
*Published 12/19/2018*
Top 5 Reasons I Need LaMelo Ball to Commit to Michigan State Tomorrow’s Headline Today: “LaMelo Benched in Favor of Foster Loyer and Lavar Ball is Pissed!”
*Published 12/14/2018*
Brian Kelly’s Transformation from “Red-Faced Asshole” to a “Players Coach”: Yoga and Meditation… Listening to his Players and Assistant Coaches… Have we Really Fallen for Kelly’s Bullshit?!
*Published 12/11/2018*