2020 Detroit Lions Preview: Don’t drink the “Honolulu Blue” Kool-Aid… This is a 5-11 Team.

“I can’t wait to watch the Lions this year, did you see they are going off at 100/1 odds to win the Super Bowl? That’s great value and… … …”

Stop, don’t even start to think that this team is going to be good? What has possibly made you even start to think that way? The Lions are always going to be bad, that’s just become a simple truth in my 21 years of life. It doesn’t matter who the coach is (Jim Caldwell shouldn’t have been fired), what new draft picks we have, or who’s “poised for a breakout year”… No. They suck. Trust me, don’t get your hopes up, this is a cellar-dwellar team that will do juuuusstttt enough to keep us from getting Trevor Lawrence. That’s what this team is, not a playoff one.

“But Fats! Matt Stafford is going to have a great year this season, he has MVP buzz and he has never felt better!”

You really haven’t learned have you? Stafford has never been the Lions issue, he is good every single year (if he can stay healthy, which is a big question mark every single year), the issue has always been the offensive line and the defense, or coaching, or even Stafford at times if we are being honest. (1)

  1. For the record, I am a Stafford believer, but if he doesn’t put on an absolute show this year and produces at least a winning record, then I’m not sure if he is the guy to get us over the hump and it might be time to cut bait, Justin Verlander style… Let him win somewhere else.
How can you not root for this guy? People who think we can’t win a Super Bowl with him are insane, he has succeeded despite the Lions, not the other way around.

“The offensive line is going be better this year and they are going to have some weight taken off their shoulders because T.J. Hockenson is BALLING OUT in training camp!”

The Lions media are so damn dumb, every year we hear stuff like this coming out of camp, but do you ever stop to think about who is reporting this stuff? The Detroit media does not know what a winning team looks like, they have never spent an offseason with the Patriots or the Chiefs, all they know is the Lions and all they can compare their camp to is past Lions teams. They are just like us, they don’t know what a winning culture looks like.

I mean, remember when Patricia had the Lions team practicing outside in the snow and the Lions media acted like it was a death sentence for these players? Are you fucking kidding me? These are NFL players and the reason we suck is because of constant coddling and questioning of ANYONE who tries to get us out of our losing ways. Look in the mirror guys, we don’t know what it takes to win a championship anymore than the players in that locker room do.

Show some toughness, good lord.

“Well, we are going to have a rushing attack this year for the first time in years!”

No we aren’t.

“Yes we are! Look at our backfield it’s super-loaded. We have Kerryon Johnson and DeAndre Swift! Plus, we have Adrian Peterson to mentor them!”

Listen, it wouldn’t matter if we had 2009 prime Adrian Peterson in the backfield or Barry Saunders himself, we are never going to have a good rushing attack until we completely overhaul our offensive line and Matt Stafford allows us to have one. As long as Stafford is under center, this offense is going to pass 60% or more of the time, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s just the way our offense is built and that’s when he’s at his best.

I’m sure Swift and Johnson are good backs and they should be a solid two-headed-monster in the backfield, but without an offensive line, they aren’t going to be able to do anything.

And as for the addition of Adrian Peterson, he isn’t going to help us whatsoever. Is this really the guy we want mentoring our young backfield? The same one who hit and bruised his kid with a switch? Who tried undermining SB winning coach Sean Payton and was quickly traded? It’s not like this guy is some X’s and O’s guru, no. He simply couldn’t be tackled, that’s why he was good. He isn’t a good blocker, route runner, or pass catcher… He is just incredibly gifted, that’s why he was good. Plain and simple.

“Patricia showed us glimpses last year that he can be a good coach in the NFL.”

Patricia did no such thing, he showed us against the Chiefs that he has no idea how to coach a game (notice the late game clock blunders for reference) and this coach, who is supposed to be a “defensive mastermind” was no where to be found as mediocre QB’s like Kirk Cousins absolutely bombed on us all year. Oh, and remember that illustrious pass rush and the fact that we never blitzed? We have that to look forward to on the defensive side of the ball as well! Woo-hoo! Plus, the Lions players absolutely hate Patricia… Remember when Slay just completely shit on him when he got traded last year? Yikes. Patricia is officially on the hotseat this year and if the Lions start off poorly, don’t be suprised when he gets canned midway through the year.

I think Patricia is a perfectly fine coordinator, but he get promoted one level too high when he became a head coach.

“Well, what about Jeff Okudah, isn’t he going to help that defense?”

This is the one aspect of the Lions that I am excited to watch this year. Okudah has the makings of a stud corner and if he pans out and the Lions have secured a lockdown corner for the next 5-8 years, then this year was a success regardless of what else happens. We need Okudah to be a star, or else that’s another first round pick that the Lions wasted, which you can’t afford when you are a free-agent location, like Detroit.

I truly believe that Okudah is the real deal, but there are going to be some growing pains in year one and we can’t be quick to write him off if he struggles at first. He will be a stud, he just needs the proper coaching, which I’m not sure he is going to receive… At least this season he won’t.

This cat can flat out ball.

Overall, I think this is going to be a disappointing season for Lions fans. Don’t let them rope you in, keep your expectations low (like 3-13 level low) and you will never be disappointed. It’s a foolproof strategy, well other than when the Lions went 0-16, that year was definitely a little disappointing.

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